An intervention any parent can use: Kind Extinction
The field of Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) is shifting as behavior analysts lean into more compassionate practices. One example is self-stym behavior (e.g., hand flapping) was addressed. Old school ABA would work on hand flapping as a goal to decrease no matter what the child wants or needs because it is “inappropriate.” New school ABA asks “is this behavior a detriment to the child or other’s around them safety?” And new evidence notes that these more amenable and kinder approaches are working.
As such, parents should consider new strategies when when issues arise with their own children. So what are some of these compassionate practices that lead to improved outcomes and positive behavior change for our loved ones?
I don’t know if there is an intervention that I’m more excited about right now than this one. It is truly a game changer! The reason for my exuberance is that one of ABA’s coldest, most challenging, and unpopular interventions — plain old regular extinction — can now be a thing of the past or reserved as a last resort. In my time as a Behavior Analyst in the field, I remember making parents cringe while ignoring their child as they threw tantrums and the child themselves running away at the sight of me after trying to implement extinction with fidelity. Sometimes removing reinforcement or attention to decrease a behavior on engender other issues.
So what is kind extinction and why should I use it with my kid?
To better understand kind extinction, let me first explain regular extinction. Extinction by definition is to withhold a functional reinforcer (e.g., hugs, praise, iPad, attention etc.) when a target behavior (e.g., tantrum, crying, etc.) occurs in order to decrease the likelihood of it happening again in future. A classic example is when an adult ignores a child (withholds attention), sometimes known as “planned ignoring,” so as not to reinforce a child’s crying to get attention. The hope is that by ignoring the behavior and not giving them attention when they cry, they will be less likely to cry in the future because crying did not lead them to getting the attention they covet consistently.
However, this type of response can lead to something called an extinction burst where the behavior gets worse before it gets better. Instead of crying to get attention, next, they may try hitting you and see if that works. This strategy takes a lot of discipline by the parent and is challenging to implement as a long term strategy.
How is Kind extinction different and what does it look like in actual practice?
With kind extinction, we hope to replace planned ignoring with compassion. It can be just as effective in changing behavior without the disturbing coldness and potential brutal side effects. The goal is to be kind to children while affective positive impact and change in behavior.
Let’s walk through an example of Kind Extinction in practice:
The set up: You tell your child to come to the table for homework
Child Behavior: He yells, screams, and protests
Your response: The expectation to complete homework remains but with compassion. This can be broken up into ten major steps.
- Share the “Why”: “You’ve told me you love free time. Doing your homework can get you that!”
- Offer assistance: “Would you like help getting started?”
- Reassure: “You’ve got this!”
- Offer comfort: “Do you want me to sit next to you?”
- Empathize genuinely: Homework is overwhelming and that’s tough!
- Wait patiently
- Label source of frustration: “It feels really frustrating when it’s time to work.”
- Validate feelings
- Scaffold: “Let’s try one at a time”
- Use positive language: “After your work, you can choose what’s next.”
With Kind Extinction, the emphasis is on compassionate care and teaching only when the child is happy, relaxed, and engaged. We may need to wait a little bit for the child to calm down but that’s okay. This intervention is just one of many new kindhearted strategies that can make the bad taste of old interventions a thing of the past.
For more information on Kind Extinction, I highly recommend you check out this article and dive deeper in the work of Tarbox .
Check out my article on reinforcers and behavior specific praise to get more information on positive interventions that help children learn and develop new skills.
Sources:
Scaling-Up Compassionate Practices: From Client-Level Interventions to OBM-Level Implementation
CEU by Courtney Tarbox, Jonathon Tarbox and Heidi Eiliers